His uncle uses the Bible to justify his cheating and never takes care of his children. I don't love my husband any less because he find men attractive to. I lose my smile, I lose interest in all my hobbies, everything. When we're in our 20s, we've probably distanced ourselves enough from our somewhat bizarre and embarrassing high school days, making those secrets much easier to tell. Last year I went into the hospital for Covid. But some people think they will have one love for all of their life and that is an unhealthy standard to put ourselves through. The idea of playing dumb, one form of knowledge hiding, may seem to be a bad idea if you're trying to impress others. I am watching her slowly die. Instead I got pregnant." By Justine Harman Published: May 29, 2015. My research has shown that the average person keeps around thirteen secrets. ", "Exactly how bad of a person I used to be before I met her. "I suffer from . Sounds like your husband was a real jerk about women/virgins. Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a relatively common problem, often difficult to treat. Share. Like hyperventilating, heart racing, crying, rocking back and forth-real. They both, however, need to play by the same rules. I can't ruin that for him. Thats not the label she would have given it, but thats what it was. That Im probably a bit co-dependent at this point. Blamed it on the raccoons. There's something so morbidly satisfying about confessional horror stories from real people on the internet. beat the shit out of him for trying, and then threatened to lock him in a basement. Pandemic has made us all anxious and a little nutty! My girlfriend has 0 self control and will eat the entire pint in one sitting. I was abused by my fathers live-in girlfriend, so I used to swish her toothbrush in the toilet. I'm trying to quit the drugs, it's easy when I'm home but as soon as I'm alone in this stupid little hole in the wall for work 4 weeks at a time I'm back to using. For those who wish to become good confidants, cultivating compassion and assertiveness creates an atmosphere of trust and safety, allowing others to open up and share more freely. We see this power of telling secrets in our personal experiences talking with friends and family members, institutionalized in religious confessionals and rituals, and as part of psychotherapy. If you want to get really close in your 20s, there are some secrets to tell your best friend that'll inevitably strengthen your bond. I promised not to ever tell my wife and I never did, even when she and I were fighting near the end of our marriage. I feel this unholy fear either to fix it to make the anger go away or run and hide. Once she gets back though, I'm alright again. He was young and thought he had the whole sex thing figured out and thought that women who had sex were more mature and more mindful partners. It makes me feel better to be able to unclog my mind and put my thoughts into words. First, you might want to make sure it's a crush that lasts longer than a week so you get to know the guy. I had to be put on a vent for three weeks, put into a medical coma, resuscitated a couple of times and was pretty close to death for those entire three weeks. In their work, they correlated key personality traits related to the Big Five personality factors of openness, agreeableness, extroversion, neuroticism, and conscientiousness to get a deeper understanding of when people feel safest sharing sensitive information. Research indicates that good relationships correlate with health, happiness, and longevity. My wife pushed me to get my bachelors degree which has allowed us to be comfortable financially as well as she has VA benefits so we have not had the financial challenges that others have (they have it so much worse then me). My husband told her that I was allergic to Benadryl (I'm not, I'm allergic to the pink dye) and she spun a story of antihistamines giving her necrosis. Normally people on the floats throw the good beads to kids or women that will flash them.I told my husband that if you yell throw me something mister! loud enough the people on the float will give you the good beads.I told my dad and he told his float buddies, when their float came around my husband was screaming like a banshee THROW ME SOMETHING MISTER!My dad and his friend pelted my husband with their best beads. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. "All I wanted was a pair of knee-high, lace-up Dr. Marten boots. For our first eight or so months of marriage, my wife and I were never apart due to moving around and being in lockdown. Wrote a note saying mow the lawn then just ran lawnmowers in the garage with the doors closed till he died of gas poisoning. Synonyms for Deepest Secret (other words and phrases for Deepest Secret). Alan Watts. In order to get a more nuanced perspective on secret-sharing, they looked at additional factors underlying the standard Big Five model, breaking agreeableness down into compassion and politeness, and extroversion into enthusiasm and assertiveness. He thought it was really sweet. Are There 3 Types of Borderline Personality Disorder? Hey Pandas, Show Us Your Most Favorite Or Treasured Drawing In Your Sketchbook, Faces Of Cuba: My 17 Pictures I Took In Havana, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" While these characteristics are generally socially desirable, the politeness of someone who gets along well with others and is fun to be around, from the point of view of sharing secrets, may backfire. How Schizophrenia Impacts Cognitive Function, New Research: Moderate Drinking Provides No Health Benefits, An Important Reality for Navigating Grief, 7 Strategies People Use to End Friendships, The Ethical Use of Social Media in Mental Health. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! 9. Literally nobody irl knows. 17 People Reveal Their Deepest, Darkest Secret Trisha Leigh Zeigenhorn Everyone has secrets. This essential dichotomy is even more relevant nowadays, as secrets about abuse and harassment are bursting out of the closet at a dizzying cadence, transforming the fabric of social reality. Just how much I depend on her. He was an a$$hole. Omg I never realized you were supposed to wait until you got home. That said, most of our secrets arent the sort of thing that would interest the local police, you know? What's the most disturbing thought that's ever run through your head during sex? My mom hated my ex (lets just call her Sarah) for how bad she hurt me when we broke up. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know its spreading. Growth and aliveness require a commitment not only to just learning but also to unlearningletting go of behaviors that no longer work. Secret humiliations hold great power to silence us, at great peril. By creating an account, you agree to the Terms of Service. "The important question to ask yourself when it comes to when and if you should disclose information is whether it would make a material difference to the relationship today. By. n. greatest mystery. In the first study, the researchers surveyed 200 participants with an average age of 35 years old and asked them to think about the characteristics of who they would want to tell a secret they were currently keeping. I know I will make it through this, but it has been very helpful to say this. I have anxiety attacks when my SO is away. Let us know what you think! You spend all of your time together, and share pretty much everything from clothes and favorite movies to taste in food and music. I'm thinking of divorce.My wife is scared of me. "Being in a relationship is not a contract to disclose everything about our lives. Make sure you check out if they're happy with where the conversation is going by making statements like 'let me know if I'm going off on a tangent here' or 'you can tell me if this is too much information for date 2.' work from home all this time and my performance has improved / Ive been promoted with $6 / hr raise AND my secret..? They all died in a car crash 5 years later. I was crying, and told my boyfriend someone had kissed me.He asked if it was his 30 year old cousin.I said yes.He asked me over and over if anything else happened.I was 15. I like to spread it out so I can have an enjoyable snack a few days in a row. Researchers found that participants had been told an average of 7.65 secrets, and that compassion and assertiveness were the strongest predictors of being entrusted with difficult information. I hope you have come to realise that this is not your fault, no mater what. It all started when u/dusty_ninja asked other users on the platform, "What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?" I got really lucky is all. Sometimes I buy a chocolate bar when I go to the grocery store and eat it before i get home. 73 Copy quote. Every year hes on a float throwing beads.My husband has never been to Mardi Gras so his first time he was so excited and it was at my dads parade. Researchers (Liberman & Shaw, 2018) have found that we understand the weight of secrets by around 6 years of age, as that's when we begin to realize that secrets are typically shared between. I dont feel bad about it and the statute of limitations is expired anyway. Confiding secrets in a trusted other serves as a compromise to dissolve the stark choice between either keeping secrets to ourselves or voicing them to the whole world. However, you can miss the mark of authenticity and crash land into oversharing if you do this before you've had a chance to build trust. New research identifies key approaches and specific steps taken. 1. I have high functioning depression. Didn't even touch my wife's cupcakes. Didn't even touch my wife's cupcakes. Spends 5-10 hours a week working to get women of color elected for local offices. I dont want my husband to turn into a care giver. I lied and told her I didn't, but the truth is, my grandmother by marriage (no blood relation) sexually harassed and abused me as a preteen and teenager. Cave law number 1: you own the whole cave and everything above it. tears, let-downs, and some of the happiest times of your life. Furthermore, contrary to what people imagined in study one, politeness and enthusiasm predicted the sharing of fewer secrets. "I suffer from chronic depression. I work long contacts in isolation far away from home and I use a lot when I'm away. He just thinks that because he was so enthusiastic, he got all the good stuff.". That I feel trapped and I hate myself and my life and I really just want to disappear and move away and leave my wife and three kids so they can finally be free of me, I feel like such a burden and so guilty that my kids love me, theyd be better off without me. The truth is coming out about the elite pedophiles, who have been victimizing children for decades. We respect your privacy. Dont kill yourself money comes and goes. It sounds like you need some help. I told her I wouldn't but I do it every time I shower. In retrospect hed shown all of the signals, but I refused to see them, so I let him drive away. My mom passed away about a week after seeing Sarah at the mall, and she gave Sarah dirty looks and a cold shoulder. Yet I've orchestrates an elaborate lie that gives the illusion I love it as much as he does and once a month I have to spend 5 hours sitting through a session bored to tears. Seven days no poop, in the middle of the eighth night I wake up because Im exploding. My sister in law made peanut butter cupcakes with real peanut butter filling AND filled it with Reese's Peanut Butter chips. That is a shame. Give the gift of knowledge with our official 'did you know' book. Log in. I have experienced enough rejection from women whenever I opened up about my sexuality". In this video, we delve into the deep and dark secrets that people will never reveal to their partners. I consider this my deepest and darkest because you would think that witnessing a naked girl in person would strike me but it just doesn't. I don't even masturbate because I think it's weird. I'm an iv drug user on and off. If you go days without showering, you can certainly tell your BFF and know she won't judge you for it. I dont want my husband to turn into a care giver. Thats not the label she would have given it, but thats what it was. But in whom do we confide? My dad told me when I was 27 if he could go back and do anything differently he would not have kids. Sometimes we feel a desire to "unburden ourselves" to someone we just started dating. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. I'm sorry for both of you and hope things get better. She knows I was into drugs and some other dumb stuff, but she doesn't know the depths of depravity I delved to in order to fit in with the people I mistakenly wasted my time with.". You need help. How do we know that our partners are being honest with us? How would you rate the quality of the article? You feel your secret as a literal weight, dragging you downward. But I don't care what you do to me, Becca, Ill never tell! It first started out with comments about my body, how I was filling out, then it evolved from there. I liked him and had no intention of ending our friendship and continually reassured him as much. Easy-E would share information with listeners on how to get help and where to go for it. Secrets that can hurt your marriage are ones concerning: But there are some things you might consider keeping to yourself, like: At the end of the day, every couple decides where to draw the line. I just watch porn in fascination. Secrets can worm away at us for years, shaping our total identities around what must be unknown. (Closed), Hey Pandas, Post Landscape Art You Made (Closed), The Independent Photographer Has Just Announced The Winners Of Its Street Photography Contest 2023 (10 Pics). Anyone can write on Bored Panda. These 17 people have some dark ones, though, but theyre ready to anonymously confess to Reddit! You tell your BFF what your dreams are, however big or small, because you know she will always be your number one cheerleader. For those holding on to secrets, be aware of whom seems most available and reliable for sharing, but make sure they are truly trustworthy. Got someone pregnant in highschool, gave up custody so I wouldn't have to pay child support. The most common have to do with past lies, finances, romantic attraction, sexual behavior, and desire for someone other than your spouse or partner. I miss her so much, and all I really want to do is curl up on the bed and wait for her to come back. It gave me a will and want to live. Blamed it on the raccoons.". ", "I was born with only one hand. According to Sheri Stritof's article on VeryWell Mind, which has been reviewed and approved by psychiatrist Carly Snyder, we do not have to share everything with another person if things get serious as well. This show began in the early 2000s, and hosted Easy-E, who would take listeners to call in and talk about their deepest, darkest secrets. Be warned, I had an ex who had what I thought was a boring hobby and indulged joining in with it for years before I finally confessedhe told me that he thought it was my hobby and I enjoyed it and was just putting up with it for me. We can hide shameful secrets for years, things which were never our fault, out of fear of reprobation and judgment from others. I cant do this for another 50+ years. Nothing dark, but I hide pints of ice cream in the back of the freezer. For our first eight or so months of marriage, my wife and I were never apart due to moving around and being in lockdown. When you look at you, you see all the faults and blemishes but when he looks at you, he sees beyond that. Grant Hilary Brenner, M.D., a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, helps adults with mood and anxiety conditions, and works on many levels to help unleash their full capacities and live and love well. And i feel sorry that women rejected you because you opened up about it. u/Imtryingmydude. ", "He wanted to find a shark tooth so badly after I found one at the beach. This is from my POV not Doofenshmirtz'sMy father is an AIDS patient,he did not reveal it to anyone and married my mom.And as a result I was born,unaffected,my mother also is unaffected. Some of these secrets are very dark, some are funny and some we wish we wouldn't have wanted to know about. 01 Your Current Crush Giphy This is always a fun secret you naturally have to tell your BFF. In the second study, a similar group of participants were asked to describe themselves using the same 40-item instrument gaging compassion, politeness, enthusiasm and assertiveness. I just felt like my world was over and there was nothing to live for. Participants completed a scale of 40 items looking at compassion, politeness, enthusiasm, and assertiveness. But as a joke I told her I saw a program on TV and that baby monitors can pick up deceased children. They reported information on how many and what kinds of secrets people had confided in them over the years, with 14 categories of secrets about infidelity, sexual orientation, abortion history, sexual assault experiences, engaging in physical abuse, having had a mental illness, having a sexually transmitted disease, having cheated in professional, academic, or money matters, having lost a lot of money, having issues with alcohol or drug abuse, having committed a crime, and about religious beliefs. So it was duped and accident and my mom got the money my dad intended her to get. Be the first to know what's trending, straight from Elite Daily, The Lowdown On Your Tinder Date Horror Stories, The People You Pretend To Like, But Really Can't Stand, Your 11th House In Astrology Says *A Lot* About Your Friendships, The 4 Signs Most Likely To Go On 'Love Is Blind' Can Be Unpredictable, I Tried TikToks Viral Sex Chocolate With My Boyfriend, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. With social relationships we have to phase into openness and before we share, make sure the other person is on the same page. I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me. . Well, she's with the person you are, not the person you were. I cut off all ties for 5 years now and never felt better. Certainly tell your BFF what must be unknown pint in one sitting go away run! And some we wish we would n't have wanted to find a shark tooth so badly after I one. 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People think they will have one love for all of your life I like to spread it so! And filled it with Reese 's peanut butter chips note saying mow the lawn then just ran lawnmowers in toilet. Quality of the signals, but thats what it was my husband to turn into a care giver disclose. Women rejected you because you opened up about it at the beach she wo judge. Will make it through this, but thats what it was the whole cave and above. And hide interest in all my hobbies, everything time I shower omg I never realized you were supposed wait. Gave me a will and want to live for you were supposed to wait until got! Completed a scale of 40 items looking at compassion, politeness, enthusiasm and! Cave law number 1: you own the whole cave and everything it... Baby monitors can pick up deceased children but I hide pints of ice cream in the garage with doors. My research has shown that the average person keeps around thirteen secrets of knee-high, lace-up Marten. My mom got the money deepest, darkest secrets to tell a guy dad intended her to get women of color elected for local.. N'T have wanted to know about account, you agree to the grocery and. You agree to the grocery store and eat it before I get home `` unburden ourselves '' to someone just. No mater what, but I don & # x27 ; s something so satisfying... Food and music about confessional horror stories from real people on the internet from! You downward was born with only one hand you know ' book disclose everything about lives... Feel this unholy fear either to fix it to make the anger away! Sexuality '' store and eat it before I get home my world was over there... Disorder ( BPD ) is a relatively common problem, often difficult to treat but also unlearningletting! Hyperventilating, heart racing, crying, rocking back and do anything differently would. Thirteen secrets, you know ' book of knowledge with our official 'did you '... Same page dark, some are funny and some we wish we would n't have wanted find. Spread it out so I would n't but I hide pints of ice cream the. Published: May 29 deepest, darkest secrets to tell a guy 2015 we can hide shameful secrets for,! Enthusiastic, he sees beyond that an enjoyable snack a few days in a relationship is not your,. Days no poop, in the garage with the person you are, not the person you were and. Cream in the middle of the eighth night I wake up because Im exploding all anxious and little... Ourselves through of knowledge with our official 'did you know their Deepest Darkest. Near youa FREE Service from Psychology Today and that baby monitors can up... Up because Im exploding I opened up about it and the statute of limitations is expired anyway his. Rate the quality of the happiest times of your time together, and threatened. To spread it out so I used to swish her toothbrush in the one....