My ex wife had no job and I had a restraining order against her for domestic voilence. If your child's other parent is not making regular child support payments, you can call the Iowa Child Support Recovery Unit's Office for help at 1-888-229-9223. You make wild assumption that mothers use the child support for the kid and daycare It is often not the case, even my own mom (a good mom) still used the system to throw my dad in jail for missed payments in the 1985. The childrearing crazy, I know! THOSE payments run from millions to tens of millions per year. Ruth Graham recently wrote a feature for the Boston Globe shining a light on unfair child support payments and why the system is so flawed. Im pretty sure they target the weak cause they know someone else would find a way out or they know someone in child support an they let them go. I did go back to file for child support, but at this point, I know Im wasting my time. 2. I got proof to the courts but they do not care. I sure you will find some, look at what you paid, then the balance deduct what you paid, this is what is going on,examples: if your statement say you paid $20,000 by 2015, with a 30,000 balance,if your balance is still $30,000 at the beginning of 2016 there not deducting nothing, can you imagine how many people are suffering? After I got 50/50 joint custody and married a woman with a child, my monthly expenses still didnt increase by $436 a month even though I added 2.5 people to my household. For everyone who thinks someone is overpaying, I guarantee there are situations where people underpay or try to get out of supporting a kid at all. I work hard to sustain my lifestyle and to take care of my child. Jobs are not a guarantee and neither is what you earn. Because hes a guy he needs to be treated badly?!? You are only looking at it from your point of view . Thats the whole point. Shame on people who complain about child support. My ex unless shes smooching off another man will go into financial hardship when the support ends. THAT IS WHAT ALIMONY WAS MADE FOR; one parent receives pay to sustain themselves long enough to develop a means of self-support, while the other parent uses their ESTABLISHED SOURCE OF INCOME to support the children in totality. It is a multi billion dollar a year enterprise that the States have going turning fathers into Child Support Slaves for Federal Dollars. So if that card is being used at Victoria Secrets or Louis Vuitton or any other place that doesnt sound like a place for children, thats a 500 penalty on whichever parent. What business it is of the states to decide how and where your child is raised. I am a divorced mother and I agree men typically get screwed when it comes to cs. The more child support the states collect, the more profit the state makes from the federal government for collecting child support. So we agreed on $400 a month to be paid to her for monies aiding in support of our child. Deal with it. Many people dont realize this. Be there for the kids or dont be there at all. THE MONEY CAN BURN, it wont save anybody. He is now married with 2 adorable children, his wife has a good job (they can pay the bills and provide necessities for the children and themselves, and some wants), and they decided they didnt want someone else raising their children so he is the stay at home dad. It used to be closer to 95% of the time, so some progress has been made. First off you are talking about child support and what is wrong with the laws and then go on to talk about custody. The whole system is Antiquated in a joke. Again, there are exceptions, however, when parental rights are determined by the government, we do not live in a democracymore like the dark ages. I feel your pain I have a evil kiss mom took everything gets 1300 a month Im left with 220 week to live off of been trying so hard so long Im about to give up either go insand, kill myself ,or hurt people..I am refused my kids by her she tries to keep our bond up tells them bad things about me took and takes eveverything I plus gets all my money Idk wtd Im sick of living ,cryingstressed ot of my mind Im sick every day I cant remember the last time I was happy Im a good father she always wins dont work just makes my life hwell, Im going through the same man if it makes you feel any better I had no idea till last year after paying the same amount for 9 years I would get taken to court for back support my kids are 23, 18, 17 and right before the age out took me for the original amount she was awarded when we agreed on separate amount I payed 600 every month for 9 years. And while I agree, dont have kids if you dont want child support easy to say, like you never put your pens in the wrong girl? She can abort the child, without his consent. They just want money. I cant even abbreviate my situation, other than to say my arrears keep climbing ($25,000.00) I can not even register my car and I am driving for a ride share now on top of trying to make some salesLOL, and CS does not care! 1. Its sad it comes down to money instead of pure love, but unfortunately in this society If you do not have enough money so many things fall apart. I know women have a monopoly on victimhood, however, its ok to see men as victims for once. She stopped letting me get my daughter giving me every excuse in the book. I would have to spend a significant amount of money to hope to rectify, no guarantee. Musk's daughter legally changed her gender identity when she turned 18. Thank god I work at a restaurant. Fathers' rights advocate, Elliot Schlissel, explains New York fathers' rights concerning child custody, visitation and orders of . Didnt think so. I continue to lobby my legislators to have them use a self-support sustenance reserve to allow them to tell the difference between deadbroke and deadbeat parents, and to then use that self-support reserve to measure child support compliance by the percentage of parents with the means to pay child support that are sharing the responsibility for providing for their childrens needs. We will not lie down without a fight. We both have homes with bedrooms for the kids and clothes etc. Half of the amount that Mr V is paying would be more than enough to support a great quality of life for his children. Im still a low income father with huge back payments. I have a lot of debt, but no regrets. Products like vasalgel and the male pill are always kept five years away with no reason given. If she doesnt, and he does, once again her decision. I know there are genuinely some men who want their children and are great fathers, and I applaud and support them in this battle. I just dont see how the Courts expect us to be able to make AND have a normal relationship with our kids. They make noncustodial parents finance their childrens college education, but they dont make married parents pay for their childrens college educations?????! Not one parent paying all of it including paying back the State for welfare and food stamps the the other parent spent and ate. As a woman, I am personally sick of certain women( not all) taking good honest men for all their worth just because these men had had children with them. He started paying support to hey prior to an order. Edins study goes hand-in-hand with other recent research that suggests economic support, although necessary, is hardly enough to qualify one as a good parent. Ive seen this. I came into his life when the child was just 3 months old and it wasnt long before I realized how biased the system really is. Helping out financially with anything she needed. I feel everyones pain in this comment section Im a dad and I have not worked for 3 months dues to my wife having an AFE(amniotic Fluid Embolism) I have to help her she is in bad condition and Im the only that can care for her she cannot be left alone she is a fall risk and has numerous health issues she cant even walk. You have your freedom. Yes, I was his wife. As a father, I pay support for my three and now two daughters and always haveand also contributed what I could for Birthdays, Xmas school cloths and whatever else they needed. Denying visitation is a contempt of court/warrent issued punishable offense. Then she brought in a hand written note that anyone could of wrote. Ex spouse should be accountable for the money!! 3x get that? Children are not pay checks ! if parents agree on extra circular activities than both need to pay for it. Laugh Maniacally. Some parents dont want to be and others arent fit to be parents even though they want to be. Both man and woman decide to take responsibility of that action equally. He can keep sleeping on his mothers couch and taking public transportation (his license was revoked after a year of non-payment. But the system was established nearly 40 years ago, and is based on outdated stereotypes that viewed Mom as a housewife and Dad as the sole breadwinner. THE SYSTEM IS OUT DATED!!! A parent should be able to see their kids if they are paying, paternity testing should be done before payment is received, if arrearages are getting high( then a caseworker should call and ask for a modification). Both my parents were deceased before my children were every born. I havent seen my daughter in over 3 years due to the fact my ex found out I was getting married and was having a child with my wife. Oh, by the way, he old paid it because I filed for divorce and took him to court. FREE BACKGROUND INFORMATION AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST. I had to spend 30 K on attorney to get 50-50 Custody. Why is everything focused on the father paying Im a single dad of 3 she left me with the kids and when I took child support out on her the paperwork basically only asks about the father its a sexist system today it seems more men are being the ones raising the kids and still getting shafted by the system its been 4 years since she left she doesnt call or even text the kids she wont pay a dime and Im pretty sure she never will and the system wont do anything about it because she is female things need to change about this system its definitely not the same as it used to be. Bipolar disorder runs in her family unfortunately, I wish I was making this up but its the harsh reality we live in. My current wife has 2 teenage boys from her prior relationship. Current Child Support Laws Are a Barrier to True Shared ParentingExcellent article. it was signed finalized. Sad truth and when I think about it all.I just say its not forever and when my kids are grown they will learn about this from myself and hopefully not put themselves in this position. You only give up this right if you reject to assume your 50% parental responsibility, in which case the parent ith 100% of the responsibility deserves entirely the other parents support. What can i do if my mom didnt take care of me from 12-18 and she collected child support and now im 28 i watch my 60 year old dad struggle to keep paying his arrears to her still today? Child Support was never designed to be about the child. Other than just standing by waiting for it to change how can we change it ? Could you contact me via email, I have some questions that I am sure you could lend me some advice on. If you need or want help collecting child support, you may apply for assistance online from the Child Support Division of the Texas Attorney General's Office (OAG), or call the toll-free number (800) 252-8014. Medical insurance, copays for doctors visits clothes, food, medicine (healthy food not fast food) entertainment and outside activities can be split by both parents. Some even find themselves incarcerated over unpaid payments. Now Im just a stranger to my kids that gives their mother without them knowing. Her dad and I were together for 6 years and went our separate ways when she was turning 4 years old. You can have an incredible relationship with someone who does not reside with you by the way. Child support is effectively a blackmail or extortion system whereby the state takes you children unconstitutionally, and then uses that excuse to charge you extortion fees weekly for the privilege of NOT having your children! So now my fiance hasnt seen them in about 2 years, doesnt want the next lie to place him in jail and she makes about 50,000 a year while her husband makes 40,000, and my fiance makes about 30,000 a year. His responsibilities to the child begin at conception and can only be terminated with the females decision to abort the fetus or with the mothers decision to give the child up for adoption. Family court and the laws r a joke and unfair. My dad raised me and my brother and took care of mom by himself as I did. when BOTH parents want custody) mothers win full custody about 75% of the time. Pray for strength and be glad you will never have to look your child in the eye and explain why you didnt try. I feel that they need to fix this. I have three children with a now Oman who has tried to push me out of their lives every chance she gets. Women, we are no better, because we allow this behavior. When I came back, she had full custody and stolen a substantial amount of money from my account. File for full custody. An second if someones co worker ends up with the women you love are you going to remain at that job no you are going to asked to be moved to a different department which may impact what you make or you find a different job. She got $1000/mo for one child she never let my husband or his daughters or I visit, while the rest of us had to survive on less than $1500 for three! Its not welfare and its not based on need. MUCH simpler system to deal with than the politics of the North. He showed up for both brain surgeries and one visit after. You are not entitled to them. Why does it matter how much the mothers salary is? Abortion pill whatever poses a health risk to the mother also. I dont have an issue with comtinuing payments to take care of that. Are you kidding me?? I had to track it sown to get credit and when I did they didnt refund my 9000 of being over paid they just kept taking and I was quite a bit ahead. Man has pull out method, her word shes on BC, a condom, or abstinence! Whete is the one that hey no suppory bit see the other drvelopment better. You havent stopped to consider that most men lose their kids 90% of the time. I work for the CS system in CA. A lot of what Im hearing is biased, based on bitterness, or based on what you may have heard about a few people. I have full custody . I got a hotel room and bought four window units. I had all 3 of my daughters since before they started school. Fortunately, after the family court adjudication, my CS is collected through payroll debit by probation court, and a quick comunique from the bankruptcy court to the family court clears the way. I am so frustrated and upset that I really do not have any words for him. And since many states treat incarceration as voluntary unemployment, child support debts continue accumulating while men are in prison. On the eve before Thanksgiving, I attempted to put the turkey into the oven and made plans for a trip out of town, to find that he hadnt. Gentlemen, here are some tips-1) Get an attorney whenever dealing with child support. Now 6 months before their youngest turns 18 she sues is for 78,000.00 $20,000.00 is interest. Its very simple unless youve been the one to pay your exes new car payment while driving ole trusty rusty you have no idea. My husband ex wife admits to breaking bottles over his head and stalking down women she thought he was sleeping with. There is also a time limit in which you have to file your claim. To decide how and where your child is raised my dad raised me and my brother and care... 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Parents were deceased before my children were every born gives their mother without them.... Typically get screwed when it comes to cs Im still a low income with. Parent paying all of it including paying back the state makes from the Federal government for collecting child Slaves. Support and what is wrong with the laws and then go on to talk about custody had full and.

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